Diary of a "Client" of a Replacement Counselling

03 Jul, 2011

Why I never read FAUST (yet)

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

Sometimes a teacher is so annyoing and uninspiring, if not stupid, that you (no: I) cannot read his favorite piece of art.

We read “Death in Venice” and the guy, big Goethe-Fan, asks US if Thomas Mann MIGHT have been gay.

He looks very uneasy.

Maybe he knows already.

Or he has heard it throught the grapevine.

But he hopes noone of us has heard it.

He does not want it to be true.

He doesn’t want his second biggest idol to turn out a gay man.


Since noone has anything substantial to say because really, what do we care?, he settles on the claim that no, writing about young beautiful blonde guy through the eyes of old yearning man, no, this cannot mean that Mann was gay. It might be more comfortable for the teacher if this is just a fantasy for the sake of…. who knows.

Next class: English literature.

We’ve been reading extremely cool books:

Catch 22

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

Catcher in the Rye.

One would think the teacher was a hippie.

Then she asks what we want to read.

I test her.

I say “let’s read Henry Miller.

There’s a book about Greece.”

She goes: “No, we cannot read him. HE’S AN EXILE”.


So what???

If you could not read German exiles from a certain decade you couldn’t read Thmoas Mann either or any decent books.

This woman also thinks Holden Caulfield was somewhat of a loon.


How did she get through reading the above mentioned books?

Now I wonder what French teachers tell French students about Proust!!

Probably the same as that German teacher of mine.

Have to ask grandpa!

Thank God I also had good German teachers!!! Before that last one.


how funny: all these animals and plants!



01 Jul, 2011

El gitano rubio

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

I finished my last test.

Last topic was intercultural perception. Much fun.

I have to write new curriculum vitae now and write yet new applications.




Son wanted to have a condom.

He found it too big for himself.

And yucky somehow.

He did not want a banana to try it on.

He did not understand why his parents have them at home.

Time grasping is not fully developped.



28 Jun, 2011

Arbeitsamt wants to see me in August!

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

Aiyeaah! Dont want!

But then again, they leave me 5 weeks (of hot summer vacation) to prepare some useless applications going with the good ones that I really did send and that didn’t work.

It is yet another person.

Why do they shovel my papers/person around?

I never met the guy who was buerocrating me for the last 6 months.

Maybe I should go secretary…

That would be giving up in my eyes.

Giving up job where I can decide things.

Secretaries may be very powerful in their own way but they do not decide anything but the colour of the pens…

I found a beautiful add for a secretary job by some hotshot desginer in Berlin. Among many many others.

But secreatary is not what I want to do.

Editor is fine.

But they only look for internet marketing and hide it behind the word editor.

Lots of editors have lost their job.


I had fun preparing some class today with the ASIAN group.

(Psssssht. It’s a test task, don’t ever speak about it!)

I made Nury talk to the kitchen assistant in German.

(The cook didn’t want contact.)

He knew what Mittagessen was.

Something warm and lots of it.

He was glad it was going to be SCHWEINEBRATEN mit Kartoffeln.

Just what he wanted: local food made by locals.


(My Dad has a something to rent in Mecklenburg in case any Asian or other tourist really wants to visit Mecklenburg.)

But then he looked so hungry that she offered to make him a STULLE.

There he was lost.

Bread, ok, why bread, how bread? Sandwich lah?

That was already enough of cultural meeting with food for one little text/class.

There was no more time so speak about praying room or chappel or shrine or five times a day carpet. Other tourists might want to know.

A little funny side kick to the Goethe-Insitut is that I wrote:

Asians use to carry an ipad with them. So there is no worry about students having access to internet. They don’t go anywhere without internet. Unlike lots of Germans.

(Nothing like that outdated material the institut uses , 15 years old, 20 years old, nothing with internet almost. Come ON!!!)

Isn’t it funny how the sides are changing?

Now Asians are totally up to date technically and the Germans are slowly trotting behind somehow…

It used to be funny that an Indian would tell me via call center from India how to find my way in Berlin.

Now I might have to move to India to tell richer Germans how to find their way round Berlin (of which I know next to nothing!)


But what Goethe-Institut teaches is very good!

Nothing to nag about.

They must allow for more chat and discussion of the teachers to be in the internet though. They just started that. Right now they are still very picky about the test questions. But how can I know what those are going to be? Maybe I want to write about exactly that topic to others….


28 Jun, 2011

Live fast, die young (goes for this flower)

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

You can see in other posts how this one grew fast.

It only had like two weeks blossom.



This is the other one from earth level.

The house is really looking modern and almost rain forest!



27 Jun, 2011

Eingepreist, alles schon eingepreist!

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain



Das ist ja ein krasses Wort!


Schon eingepreist!

Millionen Arbeitslose?

Alles schon eingepreist!

Milliarden Defizite der USA?

Na ja, wir sind am Einpreisen…

Spanien pleite?

Preisen wir auch noch ein.

3 Millionen Altzheimer-Patienten?

Oh, vergessen!

26 Jun, 2011

Jason should check out Laibach

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

They mirror all kinds of authoritarian systems:

Christianity (“Jesus Christ Superstar”; “God is God”)



even plain regular pop music like here Beatles

comment on youtube:

“yeah, they’re actually anti fascism and communism, and have a website where you can apply for a passport for their nation made of no geographical or racial boundaries. their music was originally meant to be a protest message against the communist govt feeding them western rock music as a way of making people think they somehow had freedom, but laibach saw it as trampling on their own culture and wanted communism to fall.”

thymeoperator vor 10 Monaten 6




If you listen to this you really might feel how much fun it might be to be a (bleeding) German soldier…

how this umpf umpf umpf umpf 4/4 beat really is something military in Germany and how these kids in 1939 might have felt when they did not check what they were doing.

One time a colleague of mine stomped away from my desk in this fashion and joked “Oh yeah, somehow this rhythm is in our blood.”

Salsa or hip hop kids may never feel this, lucky they are :-)

This song is really weird! German hunter’s romantic.


Bunte (rote? braune?)

Hirsche wollen wir jagen

in dem grünen grünen Wald?




Also extemely tasteless is what Germans sing at Ballermann on Mallorca!!!

Reinald Grebe tells this at a prize receiving.

Golden record for lyrics that say:

“Three horny/cool/nice holes you got

Three horny holes you got –

but one of those is blanting/talking too much for my taste.”



26 Jun, 2011

Ich streite mich mit dem Goethe-Institut Fernlehre!

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

These are NOT the values that German schools teach: that results of test are not DISCUSSED.

Who do they think they are?

Germanisten as the kings of the cultural universe?

1. They are not. Germany just one country among lots more.

2. This class is about teaching. It is not math!

I wrote my opinion on this habit of theirs in their internet forum.

I hope some other students agree.

One lady from Austria wrote that in Austria you may NEVER question the teacher.

That is exactly the strereotype Germans have about Austria. LOL

My Uru used to travel around the south as in Bavaria and Austria.

They explicitly said to him: “WE DO NOT LIKE STRANGERS.”

(“Wir mögen keine Fremden”)


And then: “But we like you”




26 Jun, 2011

Goethe-Institut Fernlehre diskutiert nicht

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain

Das hätte ich mir denken können.

Die Formulierung “Testergebnisse werden nicht diskutiert” ist doch hart.

Ich glaube das gute Goethe-Institut muss sich ein bisschen reformieren. In dem Heft über Lernerautonomie haben sie sehr tolle Ideen. In ihrem Fernlehrinstitut sind sie daneben!

Dieses strikte Abschotten ihrer Testaufgaben, bei denen man also kaum etwas lernen kann (!!!) bringt doch nichts.

Immerhin gibt es ein Forum, wo man mit anderen Fernkursleuten diskutieren kann – aber bitte auf keinen Fall über die Aufgaben. Ziemlich schräg.

Aber zum Abreagieren sehr geeignet.

Das Forum bzw. diese Plattform gibt es aber erst seit März.

Reagieren sich die Teilnehmer der Jahre davor woanders ab? Dann wüsste ich gerne wo.

Man darf mit dem Zeugnis Deutsch unterrichten, aber nicht an Goethe-Instituten.

Das ist ja wohl abstrus!

Mein Geschichte-Leistungskunde-Lehrer sagte immer JOETHE.

Beabsichtigt despektierlich.

Schiller steht für Freiheit.

Goethe steht für Establishment.

Verkürzt gesagt.


Ich weiß weniger denn je, was ich arbeiten will!

Es widert mich inzwischen an, die Stellenanzeigen für Redakteure zu sehen!

Alle sollen Marketing machen im Internet.

Wenn ich sehe was für ein Dreck an Marketing-Spam mich hier erreicht, denke ich, dass das alles rausgeschmissenes Geld ist.

Ich möchte gerne wieder arbeiten.



25 Jun, 2011

“Der 4/4 Takt geht ganz tief rein…”

Posted by: Bianca Schlimm In: Job Search Campain






I think if I left Berlin and looked at these pictures I’d start to cry.

There is something melancholic about the Prussianness of Berlin.

But I would miss it very much.




The first three tests were corrected by women. They always wrote something nice and encouraging with it.

The second row of tests is corrected by men who have not introduced themselves in any booklet.

For the boring topic of mistake correction I got a “very good”.

Now with my beloved autonomy topic the corrector gave me “satisfying” which is not even good.

But worse than naming some result is that he doesn’t explain what he has expected. The correct answers are not given. To me this is the opposite of learning.

The rules are explicitly “Thou may not question the feedback”.

Maybe they have been arguing with students for weeks?

But giving the answers how they want it they should do.

I wrote this Ph D. guy a mail that this is very unsatisfying for me.

And he didn’t comment the least bit on my philosophical question of is it not strange that state or Goethe-Insitut speak the last word in the result measurement. When the booklet on learner’s autonomy states quite clearly that the last step to autonomy is the learner define her/his own measures of success?

I really don’t know how to mix their quite strict model of planning one lesson with the learner autonomy…

I must look at that again.

I guess they are trying to do the impossible: describe what a good teacher is.

A good teacher has an instinct and natural authority that allows him to let the students work on their interests, and inspiring questions, I think.

You cannot teach to be a good teacher.

Even less by only giving written information.

Rapid decay:





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